Entries from February 2006 ↓

What’s happening at the moment [ just a quick update] Let me start by telling what I’m doing workwise. I’ve always enjoyed being involved with the design & creating of webpages, and thus I’m teaching myself PHP. You’re probably thinking that I’m a complete moron for not knowing PHP, but that’s okay, cause I’m sure I’ll think the same of you on other aspects of life… Hehehehehe….
Well – maybe not, but hey – I’m improving my skills [I'm not sure if I have any skills to improve though :/]
Once I’m done I’ll do a trial, and show you…
Other than that I’m reading up on ‘assertiveness’ – looking around on the net for a ‘how to guide’ The internet is so full of resources, that its not a problem to find something, but rather to sift through all of it and find something that I can actually use. Not some leaf wearing herbalist who wants to restore my zen, or balance my yin & yan… I don’t know about you, but I prefer something a bit more… err… practical? On a more exciting note, I’m helping with the testing of BlogMad[mainly in the evenings though - but I'm really excited about it!] This coming Saturday [25th of February 2006] we’re having a bugday:
To quote Paul on this:
“In order to accommodate the globe we’ll start at about 2pm GMT and then run right through till possibly the next day. There’ll be 3 or 4 webcams set up so that people can watch us at work, eating pizza and getting on each others nerves.”`”…come and watch the cams and interact with us on IRC.”
“…we’ll be randomly choosing visitors on the forums to be testers for a day.”
And to conclude, I got you a screenshot, just as an appetizer – I’m sure you’ll LOVE the whole look and feel, and all the awesome features!

Hope to see some new faces on Saturday! Hope to see some new faces on Saturday!
[Remember also if you register now you'll get free credits! Just click the link below]

Recently my life has gone through a couple of drastic changes, and though its bittersweet, I try to look at it all in a positive light. Things happen for a reason, and sometimes you just have to look harder to find the reason. Sweeter than I could have ever dreamt – I’m again with the person whom I love with my whole heart, and things are awesome. Strange how you can start to focus on the bad habits and get so caught up in your own little idea of who people should be. Its ironic how, when you miss someone, you suddenly remember all the good times, and how you miss those. All the butterflies are back, and the stars, and oh how the excitement builds up before each and every visit. My mission for 2006 and the rest of my life is to never miss the special moments again. Never to take for granted the people that I love. Never to not give more than what is expected of me in a relationship, and most important never to give up. When pressure from work and other circumstances push its way into your life its hard to not let it affect your relationship. But its is possible. I wish there was an ON / OFF button for my brain when it comes to the things that make me stress. The things that upset me so much that I lie awake at night. Most of the time I can somehow trace all these things back to myself, and the decisions I make. I can somehow find a way to blame myself for all the mishaps… But there’s no need to mope about it. No need to feel guilty about it – and most importantly, there’s no one else you can blame for your mistakes! Everyone makes mistakes right? And though I would undo them all, if I could, the fact of the matter is I can’t and I have to make the best of it – at least not make the same mistakes twice. When I feel like I can’t give any more, I take a deep breath, and I go a bit further. When I feel like everyone is against me, I pick up the phone, and talk, cry, and complain to someone who loves me more than I could ever have asked for, to someone whom I don’t deserve, and someone who supports me no matter what. When I give up on myself, he still believes in me, and helps me back up, and I realize what I live for, and what makes me smile every morning when I wake up. That’s when I snap out of my misery, and feel like I can take over the world. That’s when I get the feeling that I want to better myself at everything I’m doing. I’m reminded of my true inspiration. My very reason for breathing.

So I’m on BlogMad *YaY*

I can hardly wait for the official launch! The site is really cool – it has a fresh look, and very cool functionality.

Its still in the beta stages of testing, but you can vote for my blog on there – try it out!?

Will let you know when BlogMad has launched officially!

Vote For Me!

So some people tend to believe in fate
As you will come to realize this is one of my least favourite theories.
The last while, this has been pondering me, and it probably will do so for quite some time still.
Some people just don’t want to take responsibility for their actions and choices, and thus FATE is the easy way out. Isn’t it convenient to think that there’s a force out there that controls your life, and no matter what you do – its okay – you can’t do nothing about it, because its fate. ‘Fate brought us together’ – how many times have you heard this? [Utter bullshit if you ask me]. Wouldn’t I then be right to assume that, a poor serial killer has no other way out, than to do what is then his fate: Go out and kill innocent people? Im sorry, but I can’t believe that! I can’t settle for the thought of something controlling my life, like I’m a puppet on a string. We are human beings for goodness sake! The outcome of our lives are based on choice and consequence… Not FATE?! The hypocrites that believe this are just too lame to own up for they do, what they want, and who they are, so instead they thought up a word on which they can blame it. Something that will make them feel better about their mistakes, and make them feel less responsible about tomorrow. Maybe Im just unromantic and really cynical, but hell… show me the reality in fate?