Dizzy Dee

We all know that life has got its little ups and downs, and I believe I’m finding myself in a bit of a down at the moment. I will hang around, and try to keep you entertained though

I have found that no matter how tough a situation is, it is still what you make of it. I’m reading such a good book at the moment (Tuesdays with Morrie - a true story), and quoting it roughly the one character says that one should allow oneself to go through an emotion. Whether it be fear, hurt, grief, whatever. Feel that emotion, sob until you cannot sob any more, experience that emotion, and then detach yourself from it. You should say, this is fear I’m feeling, I know what it feels like, I have experienced it, but I’m not going to let it control me. Same with all the other negative emotions. There is no shame in being emotional, in fact it shows that you’re not merely breathing, but you’re alive.

I’ve also got such an amazing group of people in my life. People who are loving, encouraging, and who want me to be happy. I have so much to be thankful for!!

For the international visitors’ interest, it snowed in Johannesburg this morning - for the first time since 1981. There are photo’s of it on the Highveld website, pop into their gallery if you’re interested.
In the news this morning they also said that a man had died of exposure. This troubles me deeply. Whenever I think about people dying of cold or hunger it makes me so sad I want to cry.
I found a beautiful, sad, and very true piece of writing on the Highveld site too…

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“Holding on for a hero…

I will not look at the news today. Not a glimpse, not a stolen glance over the shoulder - nothing.

I will avoid all things bad, drink two bottles of water, buy salad for lunch, and listen to the sounds of people going about their business. Today is a day for deep breaths, for taking stock, for sitting quietly reminding ourselves that winning hearts and minds is more important than standing on a podium, clutching reward.

With spring waiting patiently for winter to have its evil way, the lazy 7am sunlight makes for stark viewing. I saw an old man today, hiding from the wind against a posh Bryanston wall. Everything he owns in one trolley, everything he dreams about frozen in that moment. Bowing forward, begging for respite from a life which has offered him very little, the man battled for survival.

I wonder what he has to say. I wonder if he has a family. I wonder why he’s on the street, alone, fighting for his life. Does he ever look up at the stars, amazed at their beauty, does he ever admire the fireworks display of a highveld storm, will he let the sun rain down upon him on a glorious summer day?

Will he make it that far?

Chances are that the man cannot afford to enjoy the simple pleasures of life because he is too busy finding lunch in a gutter, searching for dinner in a trashcan - pushing his trolley along, hoping for a kind face in a cold world.

He is the soldier of misfortune, the gladiator of the underworld - ignored, ridiculed, pursued, haunted. Yet, he is the one who will risk another cold shun and wave a trembling hand. He is the one who bravely takes it on the chin when gleaming 4X4’s pretend he does not exist.

He has no job to strike from, no car to speed with, no agenda behind what he says. No company in which he can commit fraud, no wife to abuse, no family to murder. Yet, HE, is regarded as a third-class citizen. This man, guilty of nothing but boldly facing adversity - is what we point at when talking about the failure of the human race.

Armed with nothing but a trolley and the will to survive - he is the hero, the champion, the bastion of hope for every director, CEO, superstar and common worker in the world. For every day he survives, we can survive a hundred, for every smile he gives, we can give a thousand.

This man: cold, frozen, bowed forward . . . is the symbol of human triumph, the award-winning advertisement of unwavering courage.

I will not look at the news today. I will not think about all that I want changed in my life, all that I desire, all that I’ve not yet achieved. Today I will celebrate being alive. Today I will admire the setting sun, honouring the courage of one man to survive winter alone.

I hope summer warms his heart . . .

I hope he makes it that far.”

Everyone is disappointed at some point or another. And its even worse if you love the person and they you. Why are we disappointed? Obviously because we expect something more or different, and then don’t receive the wanted attention, or expected behavior. This might be due to a lack of communication or even just because the other person was selfish or inconsiderate.

Whatever the reason, it is more important to learn to deal with it. Not as a couple. But you, and I as individuals. Even if the other party doesn’t apologize or show regret. To remain emotionally healthy yourself, you need to forgive the person, and move on, right? Right… Its not always so easy.

It is very important to realize that we cannot hold other people responsible for what we feel. What you feel is up to you. If you were disappointed, you should review your expectations of the other person? Is it fair? Sometimes the other person was really at fault, but very often it was just a difference of mindset.

Your girlfriend might like it if you text her to say goodnight every single night, but to you it seems senseless to send the same message each night? She will take offense if you tell her that you feel you’re waisting your money - its the thought that counts, remember? The point is we all have different outlooks on life, and to merge that and remain happy is tricky.

It is important to be realistic about your expectations. Your boyfriend will not give up his sport for you every single weekend. Abandon childish demands and foolish expectations. Most guys love their sport, and for them to give it up, is like to ask of you to give up your make-up. It ain’t gonna happen. Be fair about what you expect!

Admit to yourself that you had expectations that were not met, and then move on. Forgive the person. Talk about your expectations to the ‘disappointer’, and tell them how you feel. Most of the time the disappointment might be over something that isn’t such a major issue in any case. Try to think to yourself if you would still be angry with that person if they were lying on their death bed. Would you be willing to forgive them then? Would you be willing to see it over? If you would, then it wasn’t such a big deal really!!

Relationships so often turn into what I WANT. What I NEED. And what is important to ME. Make sure that you keep yourself focussed on the other person. Remember things that are important to THEM. If you are still unhappy in the end, you should consider the worth of the relationship altogether.