Entries Tagged 'funnyn' ↓

As little girls we’ve all dreamed of growing up to become a Barbie look alike, and to our disappointment this never happens. Here’s a graphic designers revenge on Barbie, for all the unrealistic ideals she forced on our vulnerable young minds

It is about time this happened to her….

As per usual I’ve received these from a friend via e-mail, and thought it worth sharing. Hope you enjoy!!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired
of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have
an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is……….

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath.
Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

In a recent poll, these were voted the top ten most ridiculous British laws…

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 %).

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (7 %).

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6 %).

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (5 %).

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (4 %).

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet (4 %).

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3,5 %).

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3 %).

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (3 %).

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2 %)

I would like to know the origin of these!!!

Source: IOL