As much excitement Valentine’s day holds for couples in love, so much loneliness does this day represent for those who are single. I’m lucky to have someone to celebrate this day with, but I know of many people who haven’t had a special someone for a long time. They dread this day of red roses, cards and gifts, and cannot stand the site of other couples cuddling in public. They avoid all the Cardies stores for a few weeks prior, and another afterwards. It hurts to be so harshly reminded that they’re without the love of their life.
Valentine’s day was meant to celebrate the love we share for each other, and though some people do, some are just celebrating another commercialized holiday because everyone is doing it. Yes, its DEFINITELY overrated!! There’s a lot of people who refuse to celebrate it for this reason. I don’t think there’s any harm in celebrating it though – if you do it the right way.
Its always been my intention to keep this day as little commercialized as possible. To not buy extravagant gifts to prove love. I usually make a card myself, and we just have dinner together. Its so much more personal, and says a lot more than any expensive gift can ever say.
But for those of you who are single, don’t let this day get you down. I know it can be depressing, but you’re not the only single person on the planet – even if it might feel like that. Try to make friends with other singles, not necessarily cause you’re looking for a relationship, but companionship instead. Spend V-day with your friends, and don’t be too worried about getting flowers or any of that – its all so commercialized, and doesn’t mean much. Take time to spend with yourself even, and indulge in something you really like. Cook yourself a nice dinner, have a long bath, and watch a movie. For girls its pretty easy to do something like this with their friends, and its bound to be fun.
Hope you all enjoy the preparations. I’m not preparing much, other than painting our new home, and moving in bits and pieces.
Which, by the way, is pretty romantic for me, but maybe I’m weird
People say we should focus on the good things in life. And to a certain extent I agree with them. We SHOULD be thankful for all we have. There are so many people who have nothing. Literally nothing. People die of hunger each day and disease each day. People lose their families due to war, and accidents.
I just wonder how can I focus on the positive so easily then. Unashamedly oblivious of the pain and agony of the world. Quietly ignoring their cries for help? Its so easy to focus and be thankful for the good things in our lives, but when do we start doing something for those who do not have something – not even one single thing - in their lives to make them happy.
I was walking in a parking lot during lunch, and car guard was so friendly. He seemed incredibly happy to be doing his job. He welcomed me, and told me to enjoy my shopping, even gave me a cheerful smile. But when he goes home he might have to eat by candle light in the freezing cold because he cannot afford electricity or gas. He cannot afford to buy all six his children vegetables like we’ve been taught. He walks home, because the little money he earns is barely enough to keep him and his family alive. Still he smiles, and he’s friendly to each person who passes him. Sometimes rudely stared at, and even ignored when he tries to make small talk. Do these people know how they crush that poor man’s soul? When do we acknowledge these people? When do we start to realize that it might well have been us? He isn’t any less a person that anyone else – but rather more, so why do people get so irritated with him? Willing him to keep quiet. Maybe they’re embarrassed to be seen talking to someone who struggles to make ends meet? Maybe they’re irritated because they think he wants money.
Sometimes I really wish I was an animal. However strange this might sound, they don’t pretend that one giraffe is better than the other. That, just because he had fresh green leaves this morning, he’s somehow superior? What has that got to do with anything? In the end the one who runs fastest and is fittest will be the survivor, and that’s all that matters to them.
Not the colour of their spots. The food they eat. Or the place they sleep. The fact that they’re alive and well is sufficient.
In the end its not enough to ‘be thankful for what you have’ and look the other way. We need to be thankful, but we also need to stop thinking that that’s enough. We need to start doing. Helping. Giving. And even just loving. Just being friendly might mean the world to another. Respecting him as a person will mean much more than the five Rands you don’t want to give him in any case.
The “You’re Beautiful” singer was so addicted to the Internet auction site he sold his sibling – and she is now engaged to the winning bidder.
James said in an interview with GQ magazine: “The stupidest thing I’ve ever sold is my sister, on eBay.
“I was waiting for my first album to come out and ended up selling pretty much everything I owned on eBay. I had a mild addiction.
“Anyway, I came back to the flat where my sister was staying and she was crying because she couldn’t get to a funeral in Ireland.
Click here!
“The planes were on strike, the ferry was out of season and there were no trains. I ended up whacking it on eBay, ‘Damsel in distress seeks knight in shining armour!
Desperate to get to a funeral in Southern Ireland, please help!’
“The bids flooded in and the guy who won had a helicopter. He flew her to the funeral.
“That was three years ago, this summer they’re getting married!”
Everyone is disappointed at some point or another. And its even worse if you love the person and they you. Why are we disappointed? Obviously because we expect something more or different, and then don’t receive the wanted attention, or expected behavior. This might be due to a lack of communication or even just because the other person was selfish or inconsiderate.
Whatever the reason, it is more important to learn to deal with it. Not as a couple. But you, and I as individuals. Even if the other party doesn’t apologize or show regret. To remain emotionally healthy yourself, you need to forgive the person, and move on, right? Right… Its not always so easy.
It is very important to realize that we cannot hold other people responsible for what we feel. What you feel is up to you. If you were disappointed, you should review your expectations of the other person? Is it fair? Sometimes the other person was really at fault, but very often it was just a difference of mindset.
Your girlfriend might like it if you text her to say goodnight every single night, but to you it seems senseless to send the same message each night? She will take offense if you tell her that you feel you’re waisting your money – its the thought that counts, remember? The point is we all have different outlooks on life, and to merge that and remain happy is tricky.
It is important to be realistic about your expectations. Your boyfriend will not give up his sport for you every single weekend. Abandon childish demands and foolish expectations. Most guys love their sport, and for them to give it up, is like to ask of you to give up your make-up. It ain’t gonna happen. Be fair about what you expect!
Admit to yourself that you had expectations that were not met, and then move on. Forgive the person. Talk about your expectations to the ‘disappointer’, and tell them how you feel. Most of the time the disappointment might be over something that isn’t such a major issue in any case. Try to think to yourself if you would still be angry with that person if they were lying on their death bed. Would you be willing to forgive them then? Would you be willing to see it over? If you would, then it wasn’t such a big deal really!!
Relationships so often turn into what I WANT. What I NEED. And what is important to ME. Make sure that you keep yourself focussed on the other person. Remember things that are important to THEM. If you are still unhappy in the end, you should consider the worth of the relationship altogether.
I’m another YEAR older- I can’t believe how quickly time goes by. Just the other day I turned 21, now I’m 23!! Things seem to change so quickly. I don’t notice how much different my life is, until I take a step back, and analyze everything from a different angle. I’d say my has definitely improved over the past year, and though growth is sometimes painful, difficult situations do still help us grow. I’m a happier and more fulfilled person than what I was last year this time, and I suppose that makes the aging process a little bit more bearable. I have the most awesome boyfriend. I am so thankful for every moment that I spend with him. Sometimes I wish that time would just stand still when we are together, because it passes so quickly. I know I’m getting soppy, so I’ll go on and tell you about something else.
I got 23 red roses!!! How romantic is that?!?!
Soon I’ll post a pic of the roses – just have to take it first Will do that soon though.
I spent my birthday eating cake until I had to lie down, and then I ate some more… Now that I’ve gained 2kg’s I will have to start exercising seriously, just a pity that its such a schlep in winter time.
I know the photo’s quality isn’t great, but at least you can see its roses, and they are red
Recently my life has gone through a couple of drastic changes, and though its bittersweet, I try to look at it all in a positive light. Things happen for a reason, and sometimes you just have to look harder to find the reason. Sweeter than I could have ever dreamt – I’m again with the person whom I love with my whole heart, and things are awesome. Strange how you can start to focus on the bad habits and get so caught up in your own little idea of who people should be. Its ironic how, when you miss someone, you suddenly remember all the good times, and how you miss those. All the butterflies are back, and the stars, and oh how the excitement builds up before each and every visit. My mission for 2006 and the rest of my life is to never miss the special moments again. Never to take for granted the people that I love. Never to not give more than what is expected of me in a relationship, and most important never to give up. When pressure from work and other circumstances push its way into your life its hard to not let it affect your relationship. But its is possible. I wish there was an ON / OFF button for my brain when it comes to the things that make me stress. The things that upset me so much that I lie awake at night. Most of the time I can somehow trace all these things back to myself, and the decisions I make. I can somehow find a way to blame myself for all the mishaps… But there’s no need to mope about it. No need to feel guilty about it – and most importantly, there’s no one else you can blame for your mistakes! Everyone makes mistakes right? And though I would undo them all, if I could, the fact of the matter is I can’t and I have to make the best of it – at least not make the same mistakes twice. When I feel like I can’t give any more, I take a deep breath, and I go a bit further. When I feel like everyone is against me, I pick up the phone, and talk, cry, and complain to someone who loves me more than I could ever have asked for, to someone whom I don’t deserve, and someone who supports me no matter what. When I give up on myself, he still believes in me, and helps me back up, and I realize what I live for, and what makes me smile every morning when I wake up. That’s when I snap out of my misery, and feel like I can take over the world. That’s when I get the feeling that I want to better myself at everything I’m doing. I’m reminded of my true inspiration. My very reason for breathing.
As much excitement Valentine’s day holds for couples in love, so much loneliness does this day represent for those who are single. I’m lucky to have someone to celebrate this day with, but I know of many people who haven’t had a special someone for a long time. They dread this day of red roses, cards and gifts, and cannot stand the site of other couples cuddling in public. They avoid all the Cardies stores for a few weeks prior, and another afterwards. It hurts to be so harshly reminded that they’re without the love of their life.
I just wonder how can I focus on the positive so easily then. Unashamedly oblivious of the pain and agony of the world. Quietly ignoring their cries for help? Its so easy to focus and be thankful for the good things in our lives, but when do we start doing something for those who do not have something – not even one single thing - in their lives to make them happy.
James Blunt sold his sister on eBay.
I’m another YEAR older- I can’t believe how quickly time goes by. Just the other day I turned 21, now I’m 23!! Things seem to change so quickly. I don’t notice how much different my life is, until I take a step back, and analyze everything from a different angle. I’d say my has definitely improved over the past year, and though growth is sometimes painful, difficult situations do still help us grow. I’m a happier and more fulfilled person than what I was last year this time, and I suppose that makes the aging process a little bit more bearable. I have the most awesome boyfriend. I am so thankful for every moment that I spend with him. Sometimes I wish that time would just stand still when we are together, because it passes so quickly. I know I’m getting soppy, so I’ll go on and tell you about something else.
Will do that soon though. 
