Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired
of it!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have
an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.
My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is……….
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath.
Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
As per usual I’ve received these from a friend via e-mail, and thought it worth sharing. Hope you enjoyed!!
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Boy just when you think it is safe to go out then we hear this (What a rush!!)
Real FAIL examples, nice!
hahaha that last one is classic. Great post. =]
As a 9-1-1 dispatcher for almost 22 years, I find these to be completely believable. Some days it seems like the world is full of stupid people and they’ve all decided to dial 9-1-1!
I once had a woman call to report s disturbance down the street from her house. Naturally, I asked, “Where are you calling from?”
Her response: “My cell phone.”
Most of these people were probably just seriously freaked out. If you heard someone getting shot at down the corner from your house, you might be calm enough to give a good statement to the 911 operator, but some people would be so panicked that they wouldn’t be able to tell what the person was saying. It’s not really all that funny.
Except for the one about the guy having someone break into his house and take a bite out of his sandwich. That sounds like he has some seriously creepy neighbors.
hahahahaa….i don’t know ’bout you but i think i haven’t had a laugh this long…. for sometime now…especially that nine eleven and your personal favorite….Thanks for sharing!!!
“BELIEVE it or not , These are REAL 911 Calls!”
“As per usual I’ve received these from a friend via e-mail”
Sure they’re real.
The nine eleven one was the best.
…. I may be old but I’m not stupid …
A neighbour phoned her husband to say that her oven was on fire. He told her to phone the fire brigade. “But I can’t find the phone!” she said. “you’re speaking to me on it” came the dead pan reply.
” Running from the Police ” LOL
Haha my fave was the last one . Lol
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency.
Caller: I just stepped on something.
Dispatcher: What?
Caller: It has tomatoe ketchep on it.
Dispatcher : Where are you?
Caller : My kitchen.
Dispatcher : ?
Caller : I have a knife in my hand does that help?
very funny,love it
LoL, LoL & LoL, where is my sandwiches!
these are retarted… most of them are from people calling police to mess with dispatcherss…. NEXT
I still find the “This is her husband” joke the best
What doesn’t get posted is some of the idiotic [& dangerous] operators. A few years ago I rang emergency [000 here in Melbourne, Australia] to report a bushfire in Brimbank Park in the north-western suburbs; it’s huge [about the size of a suburb on it's own: a sizeable green patch on any map of the city] The operator had no clue where it was saying : “You’ll have to provide us with a street directory reference sir.” Unbelievable! Lucky I had a directory in the car, but could not believe they could not locate this landmark.