Dizzy-Dee's deliciously delightful, dainty and dangerous, daring and dazzling dark dungeon

How To Tick People Off

Nov13
2007 1 Comment Written by Dizzy Dee

  • Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  • In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
  • Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
  • If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  • Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  • Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
  • Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
  • Practice making fax and modem noises.
  • Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
  • Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  • Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
  • Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  • Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  • Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  • Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
  • Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  • Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  • Honk and wave to strangers.
  • Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  • TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  • type only in lowercase.
  • dont use any punctuation either
  • Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  • Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “DO YOU HEAR THAT?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
  • As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  • Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
  • Ask people what gender they are.
  • While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  • Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  • Sing along at the opera.
  • Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
  • Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”

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    1. tom's Gravatar tom
      November 14, 2007 at 2:35 pm | Permalink

      I HOPE THIS ISN’T TICKING YOU OFF!! Funny list, if I had a glass eye I would definitely tap on it occasionally! If it doesn’t tick someone off it would certainly freak them out!! lol

      Reply

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