My Inspiration

Recently my life has gone through a couple of drastic changes, and though its bittersweet, I try to look at it all in a positive light. Things happen for a reason, and sometimes you just have to look harder to find the reason. Sweeter than I could have ever dreamt – I’m again with the person whom I love with my whole heart, and things are awesome. Strange how you can start to focus on the bad habits and get so caught up in your own little idea of who people should be. Its ironic how, when you miss someone, you suddenly remember all the good times, and how you miss those. All the butterflies are back, and the stars, and oh how the excitement builds up before each and every visit. My mission for 2006 and the rest of my life is to never miss the special moments again. Never to take for granted the people that I love. Never to not give more than what is expected of me in a relationship, and most important never to give up. When pressure from work and other circumstances push its way into your life its hard to not let it affect your relationship. But its is possible. I wish there was an ON / OFF button for my brain when it comes to the things that make me stress. The things that upset me so much that I lie awake at night. Most of the time I can somehow trace all these things back to myself, and the decisions I make. I can somehow find a way to blame myself for all the mishaps… But there’s no need to mope about it. No need to feel guilty about it – and most importantly, there’s no one else you can blame for your mistakes! Everyone makes mistakes right? And though I would undo them all, if I could, the fact of the matter is I can’t and I have to make the best of it – at least not make the same mistakes twice. When I feel like I can’t give any more, I take a deep breath, and I go a bit further. When I feel like everyone is against me, I pick up the phone, and talk, cry, and complain to someone who loves me more than I could ever have asked for, to someone whom I don’t deserve, and someone who supports me no matter what. When I give up on myself, he still believes in me, and helps me back up, and I realize what I live for, and what makes me smile every morning when I wake up. That’s when I snap out of my misery, and feel like I can take over the world. That’s when I get the feeling that I want to better myself at everything I’m doing. I’m reminded of my true inspiration. My very reason for breathing.

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