Think Of Me…
I’m suing my tattoo artist.
Five years ago I had a goldfish tattooed on my butt. Today its a whale.
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Webhosting Advice
Choosing a web host doesn’t have to be as tricky as it sounds. Whenever people hear the words web host they think they need a professional to tell them what to do. Whether you’re wanting a host for your personal website, blog, or even business, you can fairly easily find a good host online by just searching for one. There’s no need to pay an excessive amount of money. There are various web hosting articles on the internet where you can read up on some of the options you have.
“If you run a business online, you want to ensure that it can run 24/7 - or you will lose out on potential profits or worse, jeopardize your whole business. The fact that the internet has this amazing capability of being there to serve anyone at any time is probably why business owners started utilizing this incredible platform in the first place.
If you want a personal website that will advertise your portfolio or services, you wouldn’t want your potential client to see a huge error page when he or she tries to access the your website via the address you provided in your name card. This could portay you as someone who is cheap and unreliable, potentially destroying any chance of getting business at all.”
The trick is, to tell a good web host from a bad one, and for most people, that’s not very easy, hence they feel that they are compelled to seek the help of a professional. Before you pay hundreds of dollars for advice which you’re not even sure you can trust, make sure to read up enough about web hosting, so that you can make a well-informed decision before tying yourself to a 12/24 month contract of unreliable hosting.
Is This For Real?
With his still-life performances, this German artist seems to unhinge the laws of gravity. For hours on time, he remains, as a living work of art, in physically impossible positions. Elevated or reduced to the state of a sculpture,
he interacts with the bewildered and irritated audience, whose appetite for communication rises as time goes by, often culminating in the wish to touch the artist in his superhuman, angelic appearance in order to participate in his abilities.
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Answering Machine Sayings
2. “911 - What is your emergency?”
3. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
4. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.
5. This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
6. Hello. I’m home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it.
7.Hi, I’m not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
8. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message.
9. Please leave a beep at the message.
10. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
11. You’re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
12. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
13. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I’ll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
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Invaluable Advice
Bed Sheets
After drying sheets, put both sheets and one pillowcase in the other pillow case. Fold neatly in a square. Next time you change sheets, you just take the one pillow case and all the sheets and pillow case are inside. No need to look for matches.
Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.
Reheating Refrigerated Bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
Broken Glass
Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken pieces of glass - the fibers catch ones you can’t see!
Easier Thank You’s
When you throw a bridal/baby shower, buy a pack of thank you cards for the guest of honor. During the party, pass out the envelopes and have everyone put their address on one. When the bride/new mother sends the thank you’s, they’re all addressed!
Name Tag
If you purchase a new bike for your child, place their picture inside the handle bar before placing the grips on. If the bike is stolen and later recovered, remove the grip and there is your proof who owns the bike.
Flexible Vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and — voila — static is gone.
Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don’t dry the cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.
Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
Reopening Envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Voila! It unseals easily.
Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It’s a lot cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It’s also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn’t like when you tried it in your hair…
Good-bye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2 with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
Get Rid Of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it “home,” & can’t digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, esp. if it rains, but it works & you don’t have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
Take Baby Powder To The Beach
Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When you’re ready to leave the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin.
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Zimbabwe’s Hope
As you may or may not know, Zimbabwe’s future was in the hands of the people a few days ago. Or so they want the rest of the world to believe. There were claims that Mugabe was involved in some sort of corruption of the votes, but no evidence of this has been brought forth.
For now we all wait in silence for the verdict. So far the MDC is leading by very litte, but still leading. It seems like the silence before the storm. Whichever way it goes, its going to be a time of dramatic change that lies ahead in my opinion. I really hope and pray that something would change for the future of Zimbabwe, but maybe the time isn’t right for that yet.
They currently have an inflation rate of more the 100 000%, and a lot of their citizens have fled their country in a desperate attempt to make something of their own lives. For the sake of the people, I really hope that the changes ahead are good.
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Cher Live In Las Vegas!?
Cher found fame in 1965 as half of the pop duo Sonny & Cher and hs since gone on to become one of the most successful solo recording artists, releasing over 25 albums and earning a Grammy Award®, Emmy Award, Academy Award, three Golden Globes and several Billboard Music Awards as well as a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Its now 2008, and I love Cher’s music, though now, it only brings back memories of my high school years, there was a time when her hits were really big. Now they are probably considered classics, even though they were only launched in the 90’s. I find it particularly amazing that a single person can perform for such a long time. Her music is timeless, and she seems to be somewhat timeless as well…
Grammy® award winning performer Cher will begin performing at Ceasar’s Palace in Las Vegas in May, 2008. Cher joins an exclusive list of stars to perform at Ceasars Palace that includes Celine Dion, Elton John and Bette Midler.
I wonder if she’ll ever bring out an album again. She’s been pretty quiet lately. If you feel like you need to relive the 90’s with Cher, or if you’re just a fan, there are Cher tickets Las Vegas which you can get at Team One Tickets, online! They are pretty pricy, and start at about $224. I guess if you’re a loyal fan, and can’t afford to miss this oppurtunity, you’ll have to start saving up now already.
The Rude “BACK” Button…
Our company does a lot of odd jobs in the sense that the projects we’re working on don’t have any relation to each other.
Whilts one of our developers was working on a Norwegian website project, his Norwegian translator went on leave for a week, hence he had to do a bit of translation himself. It didn’t go all bad, and he was actually quite chuffed with himself for completing his work without the translator.
However, upon her return yesterday, she checked the website for any grammer errors while being on a Skype call with our developer. After a few minutes she burst out laughing, and laughed for about 5 minutes non-stop. It turns out that Norwegian can also be a tricky language, as the word which he used for the ‘BACK’ button, translates hysterically enough, into something along the lines of “ARSE”. I guess the word he used was more like backside - LOL.
There was even a help section in which he had used the word, and it read something like this: “If you want to change your delivery address, click the ARSE button”.
ROFL - Translation funnies are still some of my favourite jokes.
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Paragon
For those of you who really need Roadside Assistance, Paragon Motor Club does offer their services at reasonable prices. They currently have a couple of special offers for as little as $8.50, which I can agree, is not a lot - but this obviously depends on what you get for your money. The $8.50 will include Auto Advantage Roadside plus Advantage Tire & Wheel Protection - though I am in South Africa, and can’t tell you if this is a good price. You tell me? 
