Written by For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on:
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash……..Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
Classic questions about South Africa!! The questions below were posted on a South African Tourism Website, and were answered by the website owner. I thought this was absolutely hilarious, especially since I had to answer some pretty strange questions about South Africa while I was in the UK. Also, while my sister was on a train in the US, the lady next to her was astonished to hear that we wear jeans in South Africa. I wonder if she pictured us all in loincloths?
Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it raining on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
This morning while driving to work I was listening to a Macy Gray song. To be more specific, its called “I try”. Now you may have heard this song, and I’m sure the tune is familiar to you, but have you ever really listened to the words? Or tried at least. When I was in high school a DJ on 5fm once said he heard the lyrics to be “I Fart Bubbles When You Are Not Here” [though the actual lyrics are "My world crumbles when you are not here"]. Since then those lyrics just stuck in my head. Whenever I hear the song, I have to take a moment and laugh at it all over again. So if you saw someone laughing hysterically in traffic this morning – driving all by herself, there’s some chance that that was me 
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