I have tried to think about an April Fool’s prank, which is not too harsh on the “prankee”, and which won’t have consequences which might make me end up in jail.
Amongst others, I’ve thought about painting normal chicken eggs white, like those you get during the Easter season (filled with chocolate), sticking them in the candy egg boxes, and then handing them out at work, but unfortunately I thought about that too late, only to realize that our white paint at home is completely dry.
Something else which I thought about, since I have an old, broken immobilizer in my car’s boot, was to strap that immobilizer to someone’s car with duct tape, and then to somehow get a timer attached to it, making it look like a bomb. However, that could cause some trouble when the police bomb squad comes out on an emergency call, only to find out they were part of an April Fool’s joke! :O
Someone asked me this morning if I could help them find a male stripper, as they wanted to prank their (male) boss by surprising him with this guy showing up at the office. I didn’t help though. Firstly I don’t think its a very good idea using a work PC to Google for something like that, and secondly I would hate if someone pulled a prank like that on me. And should I have a part in it, I’m very likely to get pranked myself
Another prank which I heard about, but didn’t work so well, was a guy who was indirectly responsible for a damage which occurred at work, to a clients’ property (for real now), but then he’s colleagues conspired, and drew up an invoice & letter from the lawyers, demanding that the guy pay for it out of his own pocket. Due to his reaction, they had to call it quits when it had hardly started.
Oh well. That’s it from me on April Fool’s. If you have any ideas, or even pranks which are tried and tested, let me know!!
Art 2.64: Definitions for Pipes [as amended 01.02.08] per Govt. Gazette
1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic, centered around the hole.
2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length – do not use holes of different length than the pipe.
3. The ID (Inside Diameter) of all pipes must not exceed their OD (Outside Diameter) – otherwise the hole will be on the outside.
4. The pipe is supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.
5. All pipes is to be supplied without rust; this can be more readily applied at the job site.
NOTE: Some vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipes.
If available in your area, this product is recommended, as it will save a great deal of time at the job site.
6. All pipe over 150m in length should have the words “LONG PIPE” clearly painted on each side and end, so the contractor will know it’s a long pipe.
7. Pipe over 3000m in length must also have the words “LONG PIPE” painted in the middle so the contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether it is a long or short pipe.
8. All pipes over 1.8m in diameter must have the words “LARGE PIPE” painted on it, so the contractor won’t mistake it for a small pipe.
9. Flanges can be used on pipes. Flanges must have holes for bolts, quite separate from the big holes in the middle.
10. When ordering 90 or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify left-hand or right-hand, otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.
11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.
12. All couplings should have either right-hand or left-hand threads, but do not mix the threads, otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on to one pipe, it is being unscrewed from the other.
13. All pipes shorter than 3mm are very uneconomical in use, requiring many joints. They are generally known as washers.
14. Joints in pipes for water must be watertight.
Those pipes for compressed air, however, need only be airtight.
15. Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together.
This method is not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.
16. Other commodities are often confused with pipes. These include; Conduit, Tube, Tunnel, and Drain. Use only genuine pipes.
Getting married in sunny Africa may seem like a very romantic idea to most, but especially so for two German kiddies, who decided to elope to Africa – “where its warm”.
Two German children – aged five and six – have been stopped by police from eloping to Africa to tie the knot in the sun, reports say.
The budding lovebirds, identified as Mika and Anna-Lena, packed bathing costumes, sunglasses and a lilo and headed for the airport.
They even had the presence of mind to invite along an official witness – Anna-Lena’s seven-year-old sister.
The three got as far as Hanover railway station before police intervened.
The young couple were “very much in love” and had decided to get married in Africa “where it is warm”, police spokesman Holger Jureczko told the AFP news agency.
Sun-seekers
The idea for the getaway wedding was born as the children’s families celebrated New Year’s eve together and Mika regaled the two girls with stories of a recent holiday to Italy.
The following morning, as their parents slept, the intrepid trio walked 1km (0.6 miles) to the local tram station at Langenhagen, where they hopped aboard a tram for Hanover central station.
But the group aroused the suspicion of a guard as they waited for a train to the airport, and police were called in.
Officers persuaded the children they would not get far without tickets and money, but consoled them with a free tour of the police station, where they were shortly picked up by relieved parents.
Although any marriage plans have been put on hold for now, police did not altogether rule out the possibility of an African wedding.
“They can still put their plan into action at a later date,” AFP quoted the spokesman as saying.
Something which you may, or may not, find hysterically funny I had a good laugh though – the one on the far right is my favourite! Hope it cheers up your day
(Click on each horse to make it sing, and click on it again if you want it to keep quiet)
There are no significant bugs in our released software that any significant number of users want fixed. (Bill Gates)
The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything. (Theodore Roosevelt)
Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. (Henry Ford)
It doesn’t matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn’t matter how smart you are. If it doesn’t agree with experiment, it’s wrong. (Richard Feynman)
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. (Thomas Edison)
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair. (Douglas Adams)
If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done. (Ludwig Wittgenstein)
Every big computing disaster has come from taking too many ideas and putting them in one place. (Gordon Bell)
One should expect that the expected can be prevented, but the unexpected should have been expected. (Norman Augustine)
For the times which I’m extremely busy, I love sharing news articles which tickle my fancy.
So here goes with some interesting Australian news.
A lovelorn man who put his life in Australia up for sale on the Internet was one step closer to starting over Monday as bids for his house, job and lifestyle hit $2,2-million. Ian Usher, a 44-year-old from Yorkshire in England, launched the unusual auction after announcing on his blog: “I have had enough of my life! I don’t want it any more! You can have it if you like!” …[read more on IOL]
Brisbane – A man found asleep in a motorised wheelchair on a highway in northern Australia has been charged with drunk driving.
Officers in a patrol car noticed the man slumped in the stationary chair around 10am on Friday on an exit lane near the tourist city of Cairns, regional traffic Inspector Bob Waters said. Cars were swerving to get around him.
The officers breath-tested the 64-year-old man, who registered a blood alcohol reading of 0,301, more than six times the legal driving limit. He was charged with operating a vehicle while drunk and ordered to report to court on July 7, where he faces a stiff fine if convicted.
The man, whose name was not released, said he was making a 14km trip from his home to a friend’s place. … [Source: IOL]
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to ‘how big is my behind?’
I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend.
A MANS POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course
and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.
The End
Our company does a lot of odd jobs in the sense that the projects we’re working on don’t have any relation to each other.
Whilts one of our developers was working on a Norwegian website project, his Norwegian translator went on leave for a week, hence he had to do a bit of translation himself. It didn’t go all bad, and he was actually quite chuffed with himself for completing his work without the translator.
However, upon her return yesterday, she checked the website for any grammer errors while being on a Skype call with our developer. After a few minutes she burst out laughing, and laughed for about 5 minutes non-stop. It turns out that Norwegian can also be a tricky language, as the word which he used for the ‘BACK’ button, translates hysterically enough, into something along the lines of “ARSE”. I guess the word he used was more like backside – LOL.
There was even a help section in which he had used the word, and it read something like this: “If you want to change your delivery address, click the ARSE button”.
ROFL – Translation funnies are still some of my favourite jokes.
Have you ever had to deal with Accident Claims at work? While I was in England, working in a vegetable & salad factory, I cut my finger whilst trying to prep lettuce… It was a disaster. We worked on a production line, and when the supervisor saw my blood all over the place she was close to hysterical. LOL
She yelled at everyone to stop working, in the typical high pitched voice with British accent which I’d come to know so well, and even become fond of. The panic stricken staff all put down their knives obediently, then stood at least a meter away from the line, which was already stopped after the supervisor had hit the emergency stop button. Most of the staff being Iraqi or Indian, and not always understanding the Brits so easily, they didn’t quite know what had happened, but they knew there was blood, and that the supevisor was yelling – not a good combination. The supervisor was an over weight woman, that somewhat resembled a man, as she had a beard (unshaved), and every now and again you could see her mustache surfacing (she shaved that). People were scared of her really. Petrified might be a better way to describe this.
Luckily I worked on the line with a lot of friends, one of who was nice enough to escort me to the first aid room. He had to support me while walking though, as I felt a little faint – I can’t handle the site of blood My boyfriend walked about 100 meters from us while we were on our way to the first aid room, and though we waved at him, he just waved back. LOL. I wonder why it never occurred to him that something strange was going on, since I was walking whilst literally hanging on to another guy. LOL. I guess he really must have trusted me?
I’m terribly scared of getting stitches, but when I got to the first aid room, they said I needed to go to the hospital. STITCHES. I was so panicky, but eventually agreed to go. Good thing they only gave me sterri-strips instead, but I had to brave myself for a tetanus injection.
Accidents at work happen so quickly. I never planned to cut myself, promise. I was however booked off for 2 weeks (for cutting my finger?), and I got compensated by the factory, firstly for injury at work, and then I still got my salary.
In South Africa I don’t think it works like that. You’d need to have yourself insured specifically for something like that. If you’ve had an accident at work, and you weren’t insured for it, you can always turn to KeyPoint legal services, as they special in helping people claim for accidents like these.
Just something amusing for those of you who are from South Africa. I found this picture really funny. Especially how the lions’ faces are manipulated to portrait Jackie Selebi & Jacob Zuma…
Amongst others, I’ve thought about painting normal chicken eggs white, like those you get during the Easter season (filled with chocolate), sticking them in the candy egg boxes, and then handing them out at work, but unfortunately I thought about that too late, only to realize that our white paint at home is completely dry.
I had a good laugh though – the one on the far right is my favourite! Hope it cheers up your day 
My boyfriend walked about 100 meters from us while we were on our way to the first aid room, and though we waved at him, he just waved back. LOL. I wonder why it never occurred to him that something strange was going on, since I was walking whilst literally hanging on to another guy. LOL. I guess he really must have trusted me?
